even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
