in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
