How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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