i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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