i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
