I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
How's work?
Spinning.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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