the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
