You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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