I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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