I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
