I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
