I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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