Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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