Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
