just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
