Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
