Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
