nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
