I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
