You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
