Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize