Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
