she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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