Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
PANTIES FOUND
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