Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
