my sisters under your porch take her home
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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