Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
