I bet he comes in French.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
