that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
