Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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