I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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