Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize