my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
