Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize