Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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