Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
