My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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