Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
