My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
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