Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
