so that wasnt chicken after all
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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