You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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