Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
