Please, let me fuck your mom
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
