guys are not supposed to queef...right?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
