Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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