How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
