NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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