Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
