i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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