Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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