I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize