I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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