Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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