The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
