my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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