Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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