i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
