He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
