I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
