I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
