Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
