i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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