brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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